The Devil's workshop

Today was just like any other day, played on my laptop all day, watching movies and stuff, but… something was not just right. What can it be. I just didn’t feel fulfilled. "Now how am I gonna deal with this?" I thought to myself. I looked at my phone to check the time (of course I don’t use a wristwatch. What the hell do I need that for?) it was just a little after 5pm, I think 5:13pm or something. So I began to brainstorm about this whole thingy. Ahaaa I had an idea; instead of wasting the cool evening away, let me kuku "set one girl's P" (if u know what I mean). So I tweeted my intentions as well as updated my BBM status. It didn’t take 2 minutes before my phone went bananas. "pong pong" went my BBM tone "ting ting" blared my twitter notification. My heart skipped a beat, my mind first of all went to twitter "could they be yarbing and insulting my life on twitter because of my last tweet?" I thought to myself again. Arrgh! This is horrible. I sha unlocked my phone to check my twitter notifications only to find replies like "U no get job abi" "The only P you are gonna be setting is PROBLEM" (I mailed this one a curse instantly) stupid boy, and so on. Well twitter is a very sensitive social media platform, so you dare not say shit or else… After scrolling through my mentions on twitter, I minimised "twitter" and opened up "BBM" where the possibilities of setting P was in abundance (for my mind). I opened up BBM, imagine what I saw… 7 BCs (broadcast messages) ahn ahn. My expectations were dashed. Reluctantly, I opened up some of the stupid messages, mtseeew pure rubbish. You know all those kind of BCs that end with something like "…send this to 15 other people, if you don’t, something unfortunate will come your way" that kinda bullshit freaks me out. I looked up at the top right of my phone's screen to check the time, 6pm sharp! What the hell!! Nawa oo . I pinged one neighbourhood girl like that, she used to be my crush, but now she is just there jare (she is quite endowed sha) I asked her if she could hang out with me for the night, but she didn’t even reply my ping, so after a couple of minutes of "evil genius thinking" I decided to ring her up. I cleared my throat in anticipation. Was I feeling jittery? Omg! I had'nt flirt with a girl for the past 1 month or so, well… that explains the feeling I had at the moment. "she isnt so cute like that jare, why am I so frazzled" I thought to myself. I dialled her number and she picked after two tones. Our conversation went this way… err by the way her name is Damola - so I call her "Dammy"

"Hello" she said in a tone that depicted curiosity and astonishment

I covered the microphone of my phone and quickly cleared my throat.- 4 seconds had ticked off-

"hello… Dammy its me Kola… Whats good?"

"Kola?" she replied like she had never met me before or heard the name

"Yeah sure its Kola, Kola Falodun" I replied, as it all started to seem awkward already

"Oh Kola boo how are you doing? So sorry for that, its just that your call caught me off guard"

Phew! I started feeling more comfortable. I hadnt called this babe in like centuries

"its okay babe, came from school last week and just felt I should give you a call… could we hang out at your place this evening?" I said cautiously. "hello… hello   hello dammy… hello" damn! Did she cut me off? Did I run out of airtime? Hell no, I still had like ninety something Naira in my account. Then what must have happened? I pondered. Girls can be funny though, maybe she doesn’t feel my paro anymore. Mheen that’s some big f*ck up, why did I go and bee(why was I too forward). And then in the midst of my misery, my BBM beeped. I quickly rushed to open the message, dammy had replied saying "yes, I'll be home by 7:30pm" with a flirty smiley to augment it. I felt relieved, relieved like a pressed woman after using the lavatory. I checked the time, it was 7:16pm. Nice! "let me just shower, dress up and go. As I grabbed my towel to head into the bathroom, I heard a knock on my door. Damn! who the hell was that?

find out in the sequel to this story(coming soon). Should i say watch out for part two? naaa.

Awakening

The smell of dawn eased across my nostrils, was still on my bed, jeez, i still wanted to sleep more. Of course "sleep" is such a sweet bastard. Forgive my language. Now, where was i? Ok, still on my bed. I reached for my phone which must have said to itself " ooh this stupid boy has come again" lol, what do you expect? She is my smart phone. And then i pushed a button just to have a glimpse of what time it was. But the screen was gonna blind me with its insane brightness. After much hasle, pheww i caught a glimpse, the time was about 7:08am. Why are you surprised? I'm at home on holiday duh! I can sleep for as long as i want. But my mum was gonna burst into my room anytime soon to drag me out for morning prayers. Oooh ah! I still need just a little bit of sleep. I shut my eyes just to plead a minute or two from the "sleep goddess" but... She was gone, why? Why me?. I checked my phone again it was 7:15am. I could hear the sound of a tambourine in the distance. My mum was out already in the living room, singing worship songs, i felt uncomfortable already, she was definitely gonna come and hunt me down like a hunter does to a game. And suddenly, there was a deafening silence. "Yeah right, an angel is passing by" i said to myself. This lingered for a minute or three. And suddenly i heard "kola!! Common get off that bed and come and join me" "chai" i said to my self.  This woman can scream for Nigeria in the Olympic games. Phew!  I reluctantly advanced to the living room to join "Mary the mother of Jesus"